“Mmm, what is that lily-white girl thinking? She should be hitting that fine looking man every chance she gets,” Jocelyn murmured while watching Victor sleeping, a lustful gleam in her silvery eyes. She pulled the sheet down exposing his chest and smiling broadly, she pulled it further down. “Mmm-mmm, look at that muscle.”
She then burst out in song.
♩ ♬ … It's raining men, Hallelujah! It's raining men, Amen…♪ ♫
Oh, crap! Victor recognized that voice too, and it was hardly better than the last one. He seriously didn't want to deal with another episode of...what was this? Getting scrooged seemed about right. Perhaps, he thought to himself, if he ignored her and kept his eyes closed this apparition would fade away or something. Then he felt the sheet slip ever so slowly down his nude body.
Hey, where did his pajamas go? He always wore them now that he had little kids who occasionally got frightened in the middle of the night and liked to sneak in and sleep their fears away in his safe, welcoming bed.
As he debated what to do, Jocelyn switched to a new song. ♩ ♬ …Baby, baby when I look at you I get a warm feeling inside...I feel for you,I think I love you …♪ ♫ and that's when Victor felt her hand on his ...let's just say skin.
He could pretend he was still asleep...but then she would continue this... let's just call it inappropriate touching. He wouldn't mind so much except this was his oldest and dearest friend's new wife and you just don't do that to your friend!
Jocelyn started a third song. ♩ ♬ … I'm every woman, it's all in me, anything you want done, baby, I'll do it naturally...I can read your thoughts right now, every one from A-Z…♪ ♫
“Whoa!” he shouted when it started feeling way too good. He grabbed her hand and moved it away. “No! It's just not right!”
A fourth song sprung to her lips as she inched closer to him: ♩ ♬ …It's not right but it's okay, I'm gonna make it anyway …♪ ♫
“No, Jocelyn! What the hell are ya doing? You're married to my best friend!” he said, while having a tug-o-war for the sheet. Finally winning, he pulled the covers over himself and moved as far away from her without falling out of his bed.
“Sugar, this is just a dream, remember? You can't get in trouble for a dream, now can you?” she said crawling onto the bed and straddling his hips.
“If anyone can get in trouble, it would be me, so get off!” he said pushing her away. “I couldn't look Marcus in the eyes if we...Oh, never mind that. Jocelyn, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Well, you're not getting any from my ridiculously dense lily-white girlfriend, so... I was willing to take her place. Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. What happens in dreams stays in dreams...you know, just like Vegas.”
Tempting as it was, Victor shook his head. “No, thanks, Jocelyn. Just tell me why...no, I know why you're here. You're my ghost of...Well, let's see, dearly John Yearly was Christmas past so, I dunno...you're the ghost of Christmas present or something, right?”
“Ooh, I'll give you a Christmas present you'll never, ever forget, Honey,” she purred crawling over to him.
“Hey, keep it in your pants!” he said scrambling off the bed all together. “Now stay right there and just tell me what kind of advice do you have for me.”
“Advice?” she said,making a weird face at him. “Let me get this straight. Here you are with me...all chocolate hot stuff deliciousness willing to make your wildest dreams come true, and you just want me to give you advice?”
“Yes, it's what you're here for, so what should I do?” Victor said.
A slow smile spread over her caramel colored face, her teeth gleaming white in the semi-darkness. She removed the circular pin which held her toga in place on her left shoulder. The silky fabric fell off her voluptuous frame to puddle about her knees. “Here's my best advice, Sweet thing. Let's go for it. I absolutely guarantee you'll love every minute of it, especially after so long living like a monk. No one will ever know. This is just a fantasy, a dream and nobody gets hurt by a fantasy, right? Of course not. So, are ya gonna take this sound advice or will you regret it for the rest of your life?” The she started singing again:
♩ ♬ … ain't nobody gonna love you better…♪ ♫
Victor drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, staring long and hard at her—emphasis on hard. Then he shrugged and climbed into bed with her. It may be the best advice he'd ever get and as she said...it was just a dream, so no harm, no foul.
“Dang, didn't know you were like this, Vic. Thought I could trust you and then you do this...sleep with my wife. How could you do this to me? Thought we were friends!”
Victor awoke with a start. That was NOT Marcus' deep baritone chastising him, which he might have expected since Jocelyn was indeed still beside him sound asleep. He looked around the dark room and made out a much smaller form which could NOT be Marcus. What the hell was going on?
“Freddy, what are you doing here” Victor said. “I never slept with Laurie.”
“Seriously, dude, you're still gonna go with that with the evidence right next to you?” Freddy said, pointing at the form covered in the sheet.
“No, this isn't Laurie. It's....uh... no one you know,” Victor lied, putting the sheets more securely over the body in his bed.
The curvy form beside him giggled. “Liar, liar, pants on fire...whoops, you don't have any pants on at the moment,” she said, before pulling the sheet away from her face.
Victor gasped. “Laurie! What the hell...where did Jocelyn go?”
“Gosh, Victor, you don't remember all the fun we had? Geeze, guess I'm not as memorable as Jocelyn and the others,” Laurie said, pouting slightly as she stretched luxuriously on the bed, exposing her breasts as the sheet slipped off.
“Others?” Victor said, trepidation running along his spine.
“Well, yeah. After Jocelyn had all she could take, she called in reinforcements...Helen was next with your ex Catherine... figures you're into threesomes. Freddy would love that. Then you had somebody named Denise. She was so into you, Victor! It was so obvious you're the only man she needs. You might wanna forget Violet and go for her, but anyway... then you had Scarlet Johansson, Penelope Cruz and Emma Stone which also figures, and then you had me, but by then you probably were just going through the motions, although you got me where I needed to go plenty of times and...”
“Laurie, you're rambling,” Freddy said. “How 'bout you get ready to go while I have a little chat with my pal over there?”
“Sorry, Freddy! I'll do that quick as bunnies,” she said, getting out of the bed. Then she leaned over and whispered in Victor's ear, “Thanks so much, Victor, it was awesome. I'll join your fantasy anytime you want. Actually, you've been invading mine for over a year now. Don't tell Freddy, 'kay?”
Victor kept his eyes averted from Laurie's retreating and very naked form, and braced himself for a tongue lashing or perhaps something more violent. He wouldn't be surprised if he just lost himself a friend.
“You're something else!” Freddy said. “Not only have you screwed my wife-- making her very happy on several occasions mind you-- and apparently half the female population of Catalpa Valley as well, but you cheated on my sister!”
“Freddy, I don't know what to say,” Victor said. “I never meant to hurt you or...” He stopped when Freddy burst out laughing.
“Vic, I'm totally raggin' on ya,” Freddy said. “Lighten up, man. It's nothing I haven't done.”
Victor gaped. “You've cheated on Laurie with half the female population of Catalpa Valley?”
“ 'Course I have...and Hollywood too...only...in my dreams, of course,” he said, picking up a glass of Cherry Jack from the bedside table and taking a tentative sip. He shrugged then downed the rest of it and refilled the glass.
“So...this is indeed just a dream, then?” Victor said.
“Yup, still not getting this, huh?” Freddy said, eying his friend with a mixture of sympathy and annoyance. He drank down the lovely libation and refilled the glass. “You gotta learn how to go with the flow, dude.”
“Did you just call me dude?” Victor said.
“Yeah, picked it up from Jimmy. Gotta wonder about that boy,” Freddy said, distractedly. He drank and refilled.
“So, is there any use asking if you have any advice for me?”
“You can ask for it, but will you take it is the better question,” Freddy said, sipping the tasty beverage until it was gone then refilled the glass. He suddenly noticed the bottle was at exactly the same level it had been when he started drinking.
“Well...never hurts to hear it,” Victor said.
“Well, then, listen up,” Freddy said before throwing back yet another glass and refilling it again, this time marveling at the never-ending bottle. “Vic, you gotta take my stupid sister...”
“She's not stupid!”
“Dude, she's stupid if all of us in this ridiculously extended dream say she is and we do!” Freddy said, swaying a bit on the spot, but still emptying the glass.
“She's not stupid. She just needs time and ...”
“Why are you making excuses for her?” Freddy asked.
“I'm not...not really,” Victor said.
“Yeah, you are and my first bit of advice is to stop doing that,” Freddy said, tossing the glass aside and drinking directly from the bottle. Gulp after gulp and still the bottle was at exactly the same level. “I'm taking this baby home with me.”
“Your other bit of advice?” Victor asked.
“Huh? Oh, yeah! You gotta grab my sister like you did all those willing females and do her good.”
Freddy made a face and slapped his forehead. “Stop that polite crap, Vic! Just be a man why dontcha?”
“I don't understand where you're going with this.”
Freddy rolled his eyes. “Violet needs a man to tell her what to do, Vic, not some wimp ass who's sitting by the phone waiting for her to decide if she wants to dance with you.”
“This isn't prom we're talking about here, Freddy.”
Freddy let out a string of curses. “Exactly! Why do you think you had such great luck with her at the beginning of your relationship? Because you were in charge and you TOLD her what she should do and she did it. Why? Because that is the kind of person she is. She needs direction, she needs to be forced to do things, otherwise she just sits at home wasting away. Yeah she grumbles and pretends—yes, pretends to resent being told what to do, but she secretly loves it. You gave her a reason to...to live! She did things she's never done before with you, but only because you didn't ask her if she wanted to do them. You TOLD her and then you did it.”
"So...what are you suggesting I do now? Club her over the head caveman style and drag her into my cave?”
“Pretty much, yeah. Richard got her pregnant to get her to marry him. Surely you can think of something just as inventive, but a little less subtle.”
“Are you seriously saying I should...come on!” Victor said, incredulously.
“I'm telling ya, Vic,” Freddy said, stumbling backward onto a chair, never releasing his precious magic bottle. “Never underestimate the power of a dominant male over a submissive doormat of a female like my lovely and beguiling big sister.”
“She's not a doormat. Why does everybody call her that?”
“Possibly cuz she is,” Freddy mumbled.
“Still, I can't do that to her. If she doesn't want to marry me then...”
“Then you're both screwed...and not in a good way,” Freddy said, just as Laurie came in all dressed. “Hey, babe, you tell him. He's not listening to me.”
“Yes, Freddy, Victor knows what he has to do. He just needs the cajones to do it,” Laurie said tugging on Freddy to get off the chair.
“That's not it. He needs to swallow his pride.”
“Yes, maybe you're right, Honey,” Laurie said, steering him to the door. “Now lets get home so we can make more babies. Victor was only an appetizer for me.”
“Don't we have enough yet? Babies I mean,” Freddy whined.
“Yes, but you know I can't get pregnant until after I stop breast feeding so I'm good to go for some worry-free sex,” she said, waving at Victor. “Thanks again, Sweetie! See ya at the Christmas party.”
“Yeah...the Christmas party,” Victor said, already dreading it. He dropped his head in his hands. “How the hell am I gonna face them at the party after this sordid dream?”
“You just will, my love.”
Victor's head snapped up. “Mama, what are you...”
“You've been asking that an awful lot, Dear. You may want to change it up a bit,” Heidi said, back wearing her usual dressy blue outfit.
“Okay,” said Victor, wearily. “Was this bizarre dream supposed to accomplish something, Mama?”
“That, my dear boy, is entirely up to you. Now, I must go and let you catch some dreamless sleep or you will be completely useless for the children in the morning,” Heidi said.
“Mama, surely you have a useful piece of advice for me...since no one else did.”
She stared at him for a moment. “Are you sure about that, Dear?”she said nodding. “One thing...Victor, do not be afraid to ask...no, tell Violet you need help with the kids every once in a while, for no other reason than because your children need, crave and deserve her special kind of love, regardless of how things stand between you and Violet.”
“But doesn't that give them the wrong impression?”
Heidi merely smiled. “Have a good rest, Love,” she said, slowly floating up to the ceiling. “You're going to need it.”
©2016 Glory Lennon All Rights Reserved ♩ ♬ … …♪ ♫